Parent Savers
Baby Names and Baby Name Remorse

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Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.

[Theme Music]

JOHNER RIEHL: What is in a name? Some parents go with family names, others lock to traditional and popular names and many like to go the unique route. What are some of the thoughts parents have behind different naming strategies? What happens if they make a mistake and want to change it? Today we’re talking all about baby names and baby name remorse. This is Parents Savers.

[Theme Music/Intro]

JOHNER RIEHL: Welcome to Parent Savers everybody, broadcasting from the birth education centre of San Diego. Parent Savers is your weekly online on-the-go-support group for parent from the newborn years through kindergarten.

I’m your host Johner Riehl. Thanks again to all of our loyal listeners who join us week in and week out and thanks to those who may be listening for the first time. As you may know, you can join our Parents Savers club and receive access to special bonus content after each new show plus special giveaways and discounts from time to time.

If you haven’t already, please make sure to download the free Parent Savers app. Not only is it on Android. Not only is it on iTunes but of course it’s also available for Windows phone and thanks to one of our listener for pointing that out. So if you have a Windows phone, you can also listen to Parent Savers on the go.

Let’s start this week’s conversation about baby names and baby name remorse by going around the room and meeting everyone whose here. We might as well our baby names as well as we’re going around.

SUNNY GAULT: Yes.

JOHNER RIEHL: It’s this is going to come out later but…

SUNNY GAULT: Makes sense.

JOHNER RIEHL: So my name is Johner. I’m 40. I’m the host then the PR guy and I have three boys; Quinner, Whitaker and Zyler.

SUNNY GAULT: Nice.

JOHNER RIEHL: Seven, five and almost three.

STACY SPENSLEY: My name is Stacy Spensley. I’m 31. I’m a certified holistic health coach and I have one son who is almost 15 months old and his name is Iver. Iver James.

XUCHI EGGLETON: You guys have weird baby names I have to say.

JOHNER RIEHL: Don’t judge. Don’t judge.

ERIN ESTEVES: Hang on says the woman next to me go right ahead.

XUCHI EGGLETON: I know right.

JOHNER RIEHL: Right.

XUCHI EGGLETON: I’m Xuchi Eggleton. Oh I’m sorry. I’m Xuchi Naungayan, Xuchi Naukutli Naungayan Eggleton. That’s my full name.

JOHNER RIEHL: That’s awesome.

XUCHI EGGLETON: I couldn’t let go of my maiden name so I just added my husband’s name to that so…

JOHNER RIEHL: And a couple more.

XUCHI EGGLETON: And no my parents gave me the first two so.

JOHNER RIEHL: Nice.

XUCHI EGGLETON: And I am 37. I keep getting that wrong. Anyway and I teach college and I am sort of like half time mom at home and I have one child and her name is Nuala [inaudible] Naungayan Eggleton.

JOHNER RIEHL: Nice.

XUCHI EGGLETON: That’s the name.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah very nice. Well my name since we’re going all out here is Erin Elizabeth Esteves-Herrera O’Connell De Boller.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh my gosh.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Right.

ERIN ESTEVES: So yeah because like Xuchi I had not only my parents, I had three last names from my parents…

SUNNY GAULT: Oh my goodness.

ERIN ESTEVES: And I couldn’t let go of them…

SUNNY GAULT: Right.

ERIN ESTEVES: When I got married but I just tacked my husband’s on at the end. I’m also known as OG Mamasita.

SUNNY GAULT: That’s easier to say.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah. For officially geriatric because I am 44 I have to think about that too. What year is it now oh my. Okay and I have one son who is two and a half and his name is Leo Cassius Boller Esteves.

SUNNY GAULT: Nice. Okay so I’m Sunny. I am 36 years old I think. I was trying to do the math. And I’m the owner of New Mommy Media which produces Parent Savers. We have some other shows I’m sure you guys would love. I have four children and they’re all under age four right now and Sayer is my oldest, Urban is my middle guy my little boy, and then I have an identical twins Ainsley and Addison.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah I think we’ve got the right mix for this topic.

SUNNY GAULT: Yes.

JOHNER RIEHL: I’m not sure. I think we all I actually think we all went a little bit on the unique route so hopefully…

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: I think we can all be sympathetic to traditional name route as well.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL; But we do have a unique mix here.

[Theme Music]

JOHNER RIEHL: Before we get started, we actually have a news headline. This one actually is about babies and baby names as well. And this is from parenting magazine or parenting website, parenting.com. And its parents are naming their babies after game of thrones. Once upon a time baby names were a simple affair, Jane, Elizabeth, Suzzanne, the names like Sunshine and [inaudible] came.

ERIN ESTEVES: And Sunny.

JOHNER RIEHL: And now and Sunny exactly. Right and now people are naming their kids after Game of Thrones starting at 2012. On Wednesday one of the most popular names that’s becoming according to the database is Khaleesi, K H A L E E S I. And so another name that’s becoming popular is Katniss from the Hunger Games Trilogy.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: K A T N I S S. And Daenerys there are 21 kids named Daenarys . D A E…

ERIN ESTEVES: Daenarys.

JOHNER RIEHL: It’s in the Game of Thrones

ERIN ESTEVES: It’s everywhere. Just like Twitch.

STACY SPENSLEY: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Daenerys.

STACY SPENSLEY: Daenerys.

JOHNER RIEHL: Alright say Sunny can be there to save me or make me like really silly so we’ll see what she does.

ERIN ESTEVES: Silly silly silly.

JOHNER RIEHL: Hey let’s talk about the baby names instead of I lack of pop culture awareness. Anyway what do you guys think about people naming them after Game of Thrones?

XUCHI EGGLETON: I saw on baby center like little side bar like I was pregnant at the time and I saw like you know you look at the latest baby that’s been born it was like Daenerys - I was like no.

ERIN ESTEVES: No.

XUCHI EGGLETON: No. I just I think there is something weird about naming your kid King and things like that.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

XUCHI EGGLETON: So I think name, I think I guess like you know if you’re naming after like a royalty if it’s real that’s one thing but naming your kid like actually the work king or like after some - Well I’m from Minnesota that’s okay with me.

It is a little weird naming them after like fake royalty who is in a kind of they’re not always nice people either.

ERIN ESTEVES: What’s the name of the lion from the wardrobe series?

SUNNY GAULT: Oh I don’t know.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Aslan.

ERIN ESTEVES: Oh yeah. I have a friend who named her daughter that.

XUCHI EGGLETON: I actually MET somebody recently whose daughter named her son after the David Bowie character in Labyrinth.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh I love Labyrinth. What’s his name?

XUCHI EGGLETON: Jareth.

SUNNY GAULT: Jareth. Well that’s kind of…

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: It’s kind of like Jerrid

XUCHI EGGLETON: Once I thought it was Jerrid or Gerrith.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

WOMAN: And just like no Jerrith like from Labyrinth.

WOMAN: What’s the difference of naming somebody from a movie character and then from a song?

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

XUCHI EGGLETON: You know just yesterday somebody was telling me they we’re named after a [inaudible] song so and one of my girlfriends is named after a [inaudible] song so I mean…
ERIN ESTEVES: Yes I guess it’s the point of inspiration shouldn’t indeed value…

XUCHI EGGLETON: It’s pop culture though.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Right.

XUCHI EGGLETON: I guess it’s all in entertainment of culture.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah and I know my sister’s name is Jennifer and my mom was really excited named her Jennifer knowonthal and then this movie came out love story and all the kids were named Jennifer [inaudible]

SUNNY GAULT: Is that how Jennifer started [inaudible]

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah and so like that really so I think I happen and I think it’s just the fact the people like me not really pop culturally aware of like…

STACY SPENSLEY: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: What the heck is that name? Not that I’m judging it bad but I totally butchered the pronunciation as you can see.

SUNNY GAULT: That’s the topline.

JOHNER RIEHL: And so I think that that’s yeah that wait what is Eowyn all about? E O W Y N what is that even though it became popular after Lord of the Rings.

ERIN ESTEVES: But I think that that’s been the case throughout history.

JOHNER RIEHL: True.

ERIN ESTEVES: Historically you know we’ve always gone to pop culture or things that are interesting or new when it has been socially acceptable to use new.

JOHNER RIEHL: But I think we are kind of sort of jumping into the topic, let’s wrap up this news headline really quick with the prediction from the article which I think is pretty funny too. So in about twenty year there’s probably going to be a ton of little girls named Elsa from the movie Frozen like that’s going to be probably going to spike in popularity.

SUNNY GAULT: Right.

[Theme Music]

JOHNER RIEHL: Welcome everybody once again to Parent Savers. Today we’re talking about baby names and also baby name remorse. So we all have some fairly unique names in the room Erin it’s all obviously a matter of perspective too because I think Cash has a unique name Leo Cassius I guess Leo is kind of common but then Erin is like what are you talking about? That’s totally traditional. So just real quick, how did you guys come up with your names like how do you decide on Iver?

STACY SPENSLEY: Well Iver ironically I was looking at the census just came out with their new baby name report that my friend poster yesterday on Facebook so I was looking at it yesterday. And Iver has never cracked the top 1000 baby names in the last hundred years since they start keeping track of it but it was my grandpa’s name.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh that’s cool.

STACY SPENSLEY: So were when we had it picked, we got married in 2006 he was born in 2013 we have had his name picked up since before we were married.

SUNNY GAULT: Wow.

STACY SPENSLEY: And we’re talking last night in a car actually I didn’t know the topic of the show until today and we’re like crap when we have another one we have to like think of something. My husband is like you know we have [inaudible]. I said No Arnold is out. And so we really like it because it is unique but it’s not super weird and…

SUNNY GAULT: And you can pronounce it. I like it’s simple.

STACY SPENSLEY: You can pronounce it.

SUNNY GAULT: How do people mispronounce Iver?

XUCHI EGGLETON: They would say Iver or something.

STACY SPENSLEY: From Bonniver which is actually misspelled French word.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Oh yeah.

STACY SPENSLEY: So.

SUNNY GAULT: You see I don’t know French.

STACY SPENSELY: Well babe we really don’t either and if we’ve spotted it correctly then it wouldn’t be an issue.

ERIN ESTEVES: Well the H is silent okay.

STACY SPENSELY: I know. At the doctor’s office they always call him IV or people think its Ivan.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Ivan.

STACY SPENSLEY: And then…

XUCHI EGGLETON: There’s an R in there right?

STACY SPENSLEY: Yes I V E R.

SUNNY GAULT: They just look at it and they assume something else.

XUCHI EGGLETON: They’re just not reading. They just don’t know how to read then.

STACY SPENSLEY: Well yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Xuchi tell me about your names.

XUCHI EGGLETON: We are on the same route actually so Nuala is a very traditional Irish name and so I guess if you were in England or in Ireland or Scotland somewhere over there than there are you know than plenty of a lot more to go. But here and on also there’s a silent A in there so when people see it and then they you know need to like a preschool or something they’re a little bit thrown off. We saw some of our relatives and just misspell it. And of course her middle name Sicotly is also a traditional name. We’re kind of we’re trying to keep sort of keep it traditional like my name is Xuchi and it’s a Nauatal name, it’s an indigenous Mexican you know pre Columbian cultural name so we wanted to just also just kind of keep that going so in the right circles it’s normal.

JOHNER RIEHL: Nice.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Right. I think that speaks with everything right. In the right circles are actual normal.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Right.

ERIN ESTEVES: Well for me personally growing up as Erin when we lived in the states it wasn’t really that big of a deal and there weren’t a lot of Erin’s around. But when we lived in Mexico, forget it. It was just like even my own relatives couldn’t pronounce my name properly you know and I would get Erin, Erin, Eri, Edet, Erwin. Erwin where how? I don’t know but so for Cassius name we chose Leo for my husband’s grandfather and it’s just Leo. It’s not you know Leonardo or anything like that. And then Cassius is also a family name just not any of our families. It’s the, I studied classics and it was the name of the guy who actually incited the assassination of Caesar. So he’s the guy that convinced Brutus to kill Caesar.

JOHNER RIEHL: Ding let’s name the kid after him.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah. Yeah no I mean seriously because for us it’s very like historical, somebody who incited a change and revolution.

JOHNER RIEHL: Incited a change and revolution.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

ERIN ESTEVES: You know there that and then short for Cash is just like that is just so damn cool.

JOHNER RIEHL: That is pretty cool.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah and I’m sorry but…

ERIN ESTERVES: So that’s how we chose his name so.

SUNNY GAULT: Our names it’s always been difficult. We were always able to come up with boy’s names but girls names were always very difficult for us. So for Sayer and Urban they were literally, Sayer was a family name we actually had a distant cousin that that was his first name, he’s in high school now and before we even got pregnant I actually went to his mom and I ask do you if we have a boy do you mind if we named him Sayer because it’s just one of those things that Ryan and I both heard it and like you know a light bulb went off and so we knew that’s what we’re going to name Sayer. And then Urban, everyone I’m originally from Ohio and I went to Ohio State so everyone automatically assumes that their current head coach is named Urban Myer.

JOHNER RIEHL: I actually ask you about this a few months ago.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: I had a light bulb going on my head like wait you went to Ohio State and the coach is Urban Myer, tell me about it.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah. Yeah. So we didn’t name it after the coach but it was inspired by him because my husband follows sports a lot right and this was months before Urban Myer even became the coach of the team but he was being considered. And Ryan just kind of talking to me and you know mentioning that they’re looking to all this coaches and mentions a long list of coaches that they’re thinking about one of which is Urban Myer. And I just said Urban that was the coolest name ever and he said you like that name and he I said yeah. He said okay when we had another boy we’ll name him Urban. So anyways not because of Urban Myer but we just like the name and as how we hear it…

ERIN ESTEVES: He was the impetus.

SUNNY GAULT: Yes the impetus.

XUCHI EGGLETON: I went to high school with a guy named Urban…

SUNNY GAULT: Yes you know

STACY SPENSLEY: But he went by Tony. But yeah his was a family name.

SUNNY GAULT: They are so similar.

STACY SPENSLEY: It was his middle name but he said it was a family name.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

STACY SPENSLEY: And he thought it was weird so he went by Tony.

SUNNY GAULT: For the twins Ainsley and Addison I knew I wanted names that weren’t too close but something similar since they’re twins and I was hesitant about doing two different A’s because I’ve heard you know people when you sign initials and staff like that if you’re a twin it gets mixed up and whatever. And so I was hesitant about but I made sure that their middle initial was different and really it was just a name I like. It was actually a news reporter on TV from fox news her name was Ainsley, Ainsley Earhardt and I thought it was really pretty and so I kind of stole it and then I gave the other name up to my husband and he said okay I’d name one…

JOHNER RIEHL: Right.

SUNNY GAULT: It has to be A. I gave him all the criteria and he came up with Addison which is now kind of popular name and it’s kind of frustrating me because I thought…

JOHNER RIEHL: You assume she was more unique?

SUNNY GAULT: I do and I’m not going to say I have baby name remorse because she’s a twin so I still think it’s really special but at the same time I’m like yeah everyone’s named their baby Addison.

ERIN ESTEVES: Well I do kind of teeter occasionally between the baby name remorse and I always question like we were very particular because we wanted Cash to have a name that functioned in the multiple languages that we speak.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh yeah.

ERIN ESTEVES: And we because that whole Erin, Erin, Erwin thing just traumatized me. So we wanted something that would be easily pronounceable and easily moved culturally. We also wanted something that wasn’t too infantile because there’s nothing like talking to a grown man with like…

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah a baby name.

ERIN ESTEVES: A baby name you know so that’s why we chose Leo Cassius because he can then decide if he wants to be Cassius if he wants to be Cash.

JOHNER RIEHL: What’s an example of a baby name?

ERIN ESTEVES: Joey.

JOHNER RIEHL: Joey okay.

ERIN ESTEVES: Bobby, Billy.

JOHNER RIEHL: Johnny.

ERIN ESTEVES: Johnny.

SUNNY GAULT: A lot of those are nicknames.

JOHNER RIEHL: Those are nicknames.

ERIN ESTEVES: I know people whose names…

SUNNY GAULT: That’s their man name?

ERIN ESTEVES: That’s their name. That’s their man name.

JOHNER RIEHL: Well look so my man name is Johner right.

ERIN ESTERVES: Yeah but.

JOHNER RIEHL: It’s a unique thing and so my actual birth certificate name is John William Riehl Jr. So I’m John Jr. and my dad is John.

ERIN ESTEVES: Chico Hammersmith.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah. Exactly.

ERIN ESETEVES: Sorry.

JOHNER RIEHL: And so my mom as soon as I was born called me Johner as just kind of a John Junior abbreviation and I think the assumption was by the time like I can really understand things that I’ll be John.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh.

JOHNER RIEHL: Like it’s just like a thing but it just stuck and from my perspective why would I, you’ve always called me Johner like…

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: What’s different so we had a, I always like to having a unique name and my wife is Cristina and so she would say that like she’ll call people that she even knows like hey this I Cristina, Cristina who?

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Like your best friend Cristina?

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: And so she was really on board with coming up with a unique name so we decided we kind of we’re going to add ER to a name with Quinner and so we came up, she actually came up with Quinner and then after that when we find out well actually we didn’t know if get another boy. But we had a boy names we’re going to keep the ER thing going so that’s what we did as we are coming out with our names, Quinner, Whitaker which is a name that I always thought that was cool.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: I think it maybe goes back to Lou Whitaker from the Detroit Tigers sports but and then Zyler I think we really want a Z name just for some reason…

SUNNY GAULT: Because it’s different.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Z sings, Z was singing to us so we try to come up with a Z name. You know it’s interesting the reasons why. We all kind of had a different whys and I think of like yeah I was just inspired by a news character buy then you’re like I went back to roman literature.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: To impact. It’s so…

SUNNY GAULT: I feel so shallow.

JOHNER RIEHL: And so the point is you shouldn’t right. Like we all had different things of what has the meaning to us and what’s going to inspire.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Yeah.

ERIN ESTEVES: That’s my point about the inspiration.

JOHN RIEHL: Yeah.

ERIN ESTEVES: It’s like why should we devalue someone who’s being inspired by Game of Thrones.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

ERIN ESTEVES: Or you know the…

STACY SPENSLEY: Or a football coach.

ERIN ESTEVES: Or a football coach.

XUCHI EGGLETON: I mean it’s all pop culture.

JOHNER RIEHL: Exactly. And I think that having a unique name myself, Xuchi you might be able to truly attest in to it Sunny to some extent, is I like to think that I’m a little more open to hearing different names on people because I’ve heard a lot of different things about my name or funny mispronunciations and just kind of roll with it and say you know what names are different and unique for people. I see people get really angry that people named their kid certain things and I’m like that’s…

XUCHI EGGLETON: And do they get angry because I think it’s all like I feel like special ownership over it because we have unusual names you and I. And so I do and I’m one of those people like when I hear really unusual name you know I always wonder why did they do that? Because I didn’t have a choice over it in the matter you know.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah. Do you wish you had a more normal name?

XUCHI EGGLETON: I know I’m going ahead of it but it is never okay to make fun of somebody’s name even as an adult you know.

JOHNER RIEHL: That’s what I think too.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

XUCHI EGGLETON: And somebody the other day just ask what are the weirdest like what’s the worst butchering somebody has come over with your name and then like I just don’t seem like a you know…

JOHN RIEHL: Right.

XUCHI EGGLETON: It’s like…

ERIN ESTEVES: Inappropriate.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Resurrecting all these stuff that dates back from 19…

JOHNER RIEHL: Right.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

XUCHI EGGLETON: 79 and all the way to like several weeks ago…

JOHNER RIEHL: Can’t imagine like Johner.

ERIN ESTEVES: Why did anybody called you boner?

JOHNER RIEHL: No exactly I mean so right Johner boner...

ERIN ESTEVES: I think that is a good point though because my so I mean Stacy is a very 80s name and people misspell it a lot.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah.

ERIN ESTEVES: So would you like the name C-kwen etch on your body and by the way it spelled capital C, apostrophe, K, W, E, N and yeah this is Bridgette Santiago on Facebook pointed this name out to us.

JOHNER RIEHL: We ask people out to tell their strangest names.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: In a way I kind of admire the creative spelling that kind of goes into it because I can spell C-kwen probably a hundred different ways right now.

ERIN ESTEVES: True.

JOHNER RIEHL: And not come up with that way.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah. Yes.

SUNNY GAULT: It’s true.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yes. Yes. And also some Annie Laird mentions Pilot Inspector the name Pilot Inspector.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yup

XUCHI EGGLETON: Don’t know who he is.

ERIN ESTEVES: And that I was going to mention that too. See it think that when the name becomes comical…

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah.

ERINE ESTEVES: Or overtly evocative like Messiah…

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah. We did a talk about that.

ERINE ESTEVES: That’s where I feel that the child is being kind of subjected to unnecessary ridicule because of the parent’s own narcissistic view of a name.

JOHNER RIEHL: But naming itself is a little bit narcissistic and it starts with us and we all want to be proud of our name, the names that we give to our kids.

ERIN ESTEVES: Sure.

JOHNER RIEHL: And they just feel right but then it’s kind of transfer to them and that’s what we have to keep in mind. We talk a lot about first names and we’ll talk a little bit more but there’s also the whole middle name and last name issue too that comes up. We’ll be right back.

[Theme Music]

JOHNER RIEHL: Welcome back to parent savers everybody. Today we’re talking about baby names and baby name remorse. Before we get to baby name remorse, last names are actually an issue with baby names as well. Not only you know sometimes they’re hyphenated names, sometimes same sex couples have to decide how to do it, sometimes the middle names are part of it too so beyond just the first name there’s other considerations too. So Erin you kept a lot of your family names right and then did you past that on down to Cash as well?

ERIN ESTEVES: Yes we did because for me and this is getting totally pro to feminist right here but for me it just seemed absolutely ridiculous that I would have to give up my entire family history the moment I married my husband. I was offended and assaulted by that so but that’s just me.

JOHNER RIEHL: But you found a way to take a stand.

ERIN ESTEVES: Right and so I just tacked his name on and legally I didn’t tacked his name on.

JOHNER RIEHL: Okay.

ERIN ESTEVES: I tacked his name on for his mother’s benefit to be honest.

XUCHI EGGLETON: So you never went through the…

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Social security card was not…

ERIN ESTEVES: Everything. Oh my social security card is ridiculously long because I had all those names my entire life which is why my signature looks like a cockroach that got stepped on. That’s what my dad says. But so I wanted Cash to have that ancestry that history that link but I didn’t want him to have the enormous name where I have to go on to the margin you know when I’m filling out forms.

JOHNER RIEHL: Right.

ERIN ESTEVES: So that’s why we just said okay Bulher Esteves, we just leave it with that no hypen.

JOHNER RIEHL: Was there a discussion on whichever comes first?

ERIN ESTEVES: Yes. And so we decided to follow the Mexican…

JOHNER RIEHL: Tradition.

ERIN ESTEVES: Tradition of paternal followed my maternal.

JOHNER RIEHL: I know that Cristina one of her co-workers, when they got married he actually took the wife’s name and that became their family name like it’s the obviously our convention here is to take the husband’s surname, doesn’t always happen, but so there are ways also and you have that moment of that magical moment in the hospital where I guess I don’t know how it’s done on a home birth like but I know at the hospital they bring you the form, there’s the woman who works at the hospital or the man that works on the hospital that brings it to you and you have so much power in that moment like. Are you sure you want to do this right? And the thing is once that moment’s passed…

ERIN ESTEVES: You’re screwed.

JOHNER RIEHL: It can really be hard to change it.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: You’re not screwed but like…

SUNNY GAULT: It is difficult.

JOHNER RIEHL: It is so easy to do

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: What you want at that right moment but then after that it’s really hard.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah and can I just say that they should never give that form to a drugged out mama by herself which is what they did to me.

JOHNER RIEHL: Oh did they really?

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah. So technically I mean I really screwed up because I was still so like brain fogged. I wouldn’t say high I don’t know what was going on but I don’t I gave my kid these weird last names I don’t like…

JOHNER RIEHL: What did you do?

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah we had to go through all of this hassle to like legitimately and legally changed his name because I F up majorly.

SUNNY GAULT: No you didn’t.

JOHNER RIEHL: You fill that form wrong.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yes I did. Yes. Yes.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Were they’re your last names or somebody else’s?

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah they were my last names but they were our last names but they were all like out of order and I through in my mother’s maiden name just in case it get out.

XUCHI EGGLETON: What.

ERIN ESTEVES: Honey what happened? I was just like and I remember telling him I think they had me sign into something and fill something up but I can’t remember. I don’t know it was a, you got to talk to the nurse.

JOHNER RIEHL: Alright. Yeah this is…

SUNNY GAULT: So technically you could well I’m just going to say technically you in that moment, you can name your baby even last name you can name them…

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Whatever you want. It doesn’t have to follow any…

ERIN ESTEVES: No.

SUNNY GAULT: Pattern.

ERIN ESTEVES: No.

SUNNY GAULT: That’s amazing to me I didn’t even consider that one.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yes.

SUNNY GAULT: So now…

JOHNER RIEHL: Did you change it at the hospital?

ERIN ESTEVES: No you can’t do that.

JOHNER RIEHL: So…

ERIN ESTEVES: You had to go through like I had contacted the state and all this stuff…

SUNNY GAULT: Oh my! That makes sense.

ERIEN ESTEVES: So his birth certificate is now like six pages long.

JOHNER RIEHL: Well tell me a little bit about your experience because this then for folks that there is a thing that called baby name remorse right and Sunny even admit it to may be having it a tincy bit. But yeah for people that say you know what? I think that we want to change the name. What was that process like?

ERIN ESTEVES: So the process was like first I had to contact the city, the registry, the county of San Diego and I had to fill out paperwork and it was very specific and I actually they sent it back to me twice because it was in, because I had made minor errors on it. And then you have to have things notarized. Yeah it was very lengthy and it took about I would say let’s say two months two and a half months to get everything squared away.

JOHNER RIEHL: And do they cost money too?

ERIN ESTEVES: They cost money. Yes. So I had to pay money every time I got paper works sent back to me.

JOHNER RIEHL: Really.

ERIN ESTEVES: I had to pay money and yeah so from now on his birth certificate will always have to have I can never just give a copy of his birth certificate. It will always have to be this page thing with all of these certified and notarize originals.

JOHNER RIEHL: Wow.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh that’s expensive.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh my gosh.

XUCHI EGGLETON: So you’re high.

JOHNER RIEHL: Well for middle names I know for us where we settled on what’s like you know what middle names don’t really matter to us right. Well I mean is that like in daily life…

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Both of our sons and Cristina’s middle names haven’t really come up like…

ERIN ESTEVES: And see but Mat…

JOHNER RIEHL: And for others it has.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah Mat, the majority on his family actually go by their middle name.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah. Maybe that goes to their first names are given for traditional reason or for different reasons.

SUNNY GAULT: So they just kind of swap it?

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Because I view middle names are kind of more traditional like…

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Tradition in the same meaning that it’s a family member something you’re trying to honour someone with you saying maybe they’ve flipped it and so yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: That’s what we did but yeah it’s something that’s why they flipped it.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah but also for example in my husband’s case, 2 or 3 days there’s a 2 or 3 day difference were he had a male cousin born in the same city and they were given the exact same name.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh boy.

JOHNER RIEHL: Got it.

ERIN ESTEVES: So first, middle and last name.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah.

ERIN ESTEVES: Same.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh wow.

JOHNER RIEHL: And same city.

ERIN ESTEVES: And same city. So my husband goes by his middle name and the cousin goes by the first name.

JOHNER RIEHL: By the first name. That’s interesting.

ERIN ESTEVES: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: For us, for Quinner’s middle name I think Its Diego and we’re just like hey we live in San Diego like let’s just go with Diego. And we’re like oh maybe we should honour people with the middle name on the second one. So for Whitaker his middle name is Johns with an S because both of my dad and Christina’s dad that’s their name.

ERIN ESTEVES: Oh that’s cool.

JOHNER RIEHL: So it’s Johns. And then for Zyler its Marlon and we combined Christina’s mom’s name and my mom name Maria and Loye M A R L O N. So we finally got to the honouring phase, the first one I feel like we’re just kind of oh whatever you know…

STACY SPENSLEY: If you have a James in your life, Diego is the Spanish version of James. So there you go.

JOHNER RIEHL: Well we don’t. It was just because of San Diego.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh there you go.

JOHNER RIEHL: Did you guys put a lot of thought on the middle names?

STACY SPENSLEY: Well we do, I mean his middle name is James because my husband’s middle name…

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah.

STACY SPENSLEY: Is my husband’s dad’s and grandpa’s middle name. My father-in-law his dad had different middle name so he wasn’t a junior or anything. But my mother-in-law brother is James as well. So that was the joke on our wedding it was like if you don’t know an older man’s name it was probably James. Just call him Jim you know. But I think that for us like also, I know like for some friends what can come in is the initials and so…

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah.

STACY SPENSLEY: Another option for his middle name was my husband’s other grandfather whose name was Russell but we didn’t him to have the initials IRS because it just seemed...

JOHNER RIEHL: Right.

STACY SPENSLEY: Or a friend of mine her name was Angela and her last name starts with an S and they wanted to make her middle name Suzanne but did not.

JOHNER RIEHL: They can’t because…

SUNNY GAULT: Oh my.

STACY SPENSLEY: Because boo. Actually that’s the same thing as my husband’s first name was Anderson my first name is Stacy and our last name is Spensley so we can never had anything monogramed.

JOHNER RIEHL: Right. Or you can and that would be awesome.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Well I’ll let you go first.

JOHNER RIEHL: If some sort if that’s just normal.

STACY SPENSLEY: See either way.

JOHNER RIEHL: Nice.

STACY SPENSLEY: Either we win or we really loose.

JOHNER RIEHL: Well on so yes there’re some things you got to think about before naming. I read a tip that says if you’re thinking of giving your child the name and it’s a unique name, like go to a restaurant or go to the library and use it and see how you feel using it.

XUCHI EGGLETON: There you go.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh just say oh hi and then whatever the name is.

XUCHI EGGLETON: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah. My name is Roosevelt Franklin.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh that’s interesting.

ERIN ESTEVES: Also a really good tip is whosinjail.com. Swear to god. Swear to god.

JOHNER RIEHL: And avoid those names or?

ERIN ESTEVES: Because my father-in-law there is somebody who has his exact name, exact name and has a really bad, a really long record.

SUNNY GAULT: See the only thing that I do is like go to whatever like godaddy or something see if the URL is available online. If I can get your URL then it’s been overused.

JOHNER RIEHL: Even if it’s .us or .info or…

SUNNY GAULT: It has to be dot come

JOHNER RIEHL: Has to be dot com.

SUNNY GAULT: All my kids have dot coms.

JOHNER RIEHL: And you register them?

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah. All of them. All four kids.

XUCHI EGGLETON: You are too funny.

SUNNY GAULT: No.

JOHNER RIEHL: That is so modern.

SUNNY GAULT: That’s going to be so important.

XUCHI EGGLETON:: It is very modern isn’t.

SUNNY GAULT: And me I have mymaidenname.com and got sunnygault.com.

JOHNER RIEHL: Unless they can completely do away with that convention. Unless that’s like the equivalent of buying a Betamax tape.

SUNNY GAULT: I know I think that people move around and are hard to find so much but if you go to the internet and you can pick some… I mean to me it’s like having a home in where anyone can find you if they want to.

JOHNER RIEHL: What’s on those pages right now?

SUNNY GAULT: I think I just forward to...

JOHNER RIEHL: Forward to mommy media?

SUNNY GAULT: Forward to my personal one because I put pictures on my personal page of them and stuff like that on my personal site.

JOHNER RIEHL: Got it. That’s an interesting idea.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

JOHNER RIEHL: I don’t mean to belittle. It’s interesting.

SUNNY GAULT: It’s okay.

JOHNER RIEHL: It’s very modern. Alright well thank so much for the conversation about baby names. You guys have any additional thoughts you want to share please share them with us on Facebook or via Twitter. Facebook is where we see a lot of action on Parent Savers page. So for more information go to our website www.parentsavers.com . We’ll have all this info on the episode page as well as some links to resources.

After the show we’ll have a little bit more conversation. We’re going to talk about when do you come up with conventions if you have multiple kids? A lot of people with multiple kids myself included have kind of a thing with their name and so especially I want to talk to especially to you guys with not just one kid to see if you guys has kept that in mind. So we’ll talk about that as a bonus content.

[Theme Music]

SUNNY GAULT: We have a funny story to share with you today. This is part of our Parenting Oops segment. It’s when we ask all of our listeners okay what’s your craziest parenting moment and they send us their story.

So this one comes from Suzie and Suzie she says my two-year-old daughter and I hustled on to an airplane and settled ourselves. She in the isle sit. Across the aisle from her was a nice-looking man in his 40s. And he began to engage my kid asking some basic questions.

Clearly feeling comfortable with him, my shy child asked loudly do you have a penis? Apparently my gender anatomy lessons have sunk in. Oh my gosh can you imagine being in an airplane and you know being quiet and then your child just busting this statement out. Suzie oh my gosh. I totally feel you on this one. It’s absolutely hysterical what our two-year-olds, our toddlers will say right. So thanks so much for sending this in. If you have a funny parenting oops you want to share on our show, you can call our voicemail which is 619-866-4775. You can also post something on our Facebook page or send us an email through the website.

[Theme Music]

JOHNER RIEHL: That wraps up today’s show. Thank you so much for listening to Parent Savers.

Don’t forget to check out our sister shows:
• Preggie Pals for expecting parents
• The Boob Group for moms who breastfeed and
• Twin Talks for parents of multiple kids.

This is Parent Savers empowering new parents.

[Disclaimer]
This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though information in which areas are related to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.

SUNNY GAULT: New Mommy Media is expanding our line up of shows for new and expecting parents. If you have an idea for a new series or if you’re a business or organization interested in joining our network of shows through a co-branded podcast, visit www.NewMommyMedia.com .

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