Preggie Pals
10 Pregnancy Questions (You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask)

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STEPHANIE GLOVER: Do you have those embarrassing pregnancy questions that just don’t seem to be addressed on your pregnancy books and apps. You might be nervous to ask your seasoned mommy friends or even your doctor. We’ll today we’re breaking down the top 10 pregnancy FAQ’s that we think will going to make you laugh. This is Preggie Pals.

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STEPHANIE GLOVER: Welcome to Preggie Pals, broadcasting from the birth education center in San Diego. Preggie Pals is your online on the go support group for expecting parents and those hoping to become pregnant. I’m your host, Stephanie Glover. Thanks to all of our loyal listeners who’ve join the Preggie Pals club.

Our members get special episodes, bonus content after each new show plus special giveaways and discounts. See our website for more information. Another way for you to stay connected is by downloading our free Preggie Pals app available in the Android, iTunes and Windows market places. Sunny our producer is now going to give us some information about our virtual panelist program.

SUNNY GAULT: Alright! So if you guys are not joining us here in the studio, perhaps you don’t even live in the San Diego area, then we still want you to be part of our show through our virtual panelist program. So you can do it a couple of different ways. I know some of you guys love Facebook out there, some of you guys love Twitter so two different options here. You can like our Facebook page and you can also follow us on Twitter. We’re going to be posting throughout today’s recording.

I’ve got Twitter and Facebook up on my computer here and we’re going to be posting different questions that we’re talking about here in the studio. We definitely want to hear your perspective on stuff. Of course today’s episode is about funny things that happen during pregnancy and questions that we’re too scared to ask most of our doctors and so we’re going to chat about it today and we want to hear what you have to say.

So like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and be part of the program using #preggiepalsvp and if you do so you can win some cool prices.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Awesome! Thank you Sunny! So we’re just going to go around and introduce our panelists here. I’ll go ahead and start. My name is Stephanie Glover. I’m 32 years old. I’m a stay at home mom to two little girls ages 3 and 11 months. My first daughter Gretchen was born caesarean and my second Lydia was my VBAC baby.

ANNIE LAIRD: Hi I’m Annie. I’m the former host of Preggie Pals but I keep hanging around. So I just love this group of ladies. I’m 36 years old. I’m a labor doula and I have no due date. I have three little girls. My first was a hospital birth. My second was a planned at home birth, I had a little couple of issues we transferred to the hospital. I had her 20 minutes later in the hospital and then my third was a planned home birth.

SUNNY GAULT: You know what’s funny is all three of us have been host of Preggie Pals.

ANNIE LAIRD: We have.

SUNNY GAULT: We need to take a picture.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: I think we are. You guys have to visit our Facebook page.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: The generation.

SUNNY GAULT: We’re going to take a picture and put it up on Facebook, three generations of Preggie Pals host. Okay, hey everyone I’m Sunny. I am producing today’s show. I’m sub again for Samantha and a little bit about myself, four kids under the age of four and my oldest is Sayer, he is 4 years old, will be 4 years old actually next week and then Urban is my middle guy, he’s 2 and then Ainsley and Addison are my identical twin girls and they are 8 months old.

I had a vaginal birth with my first and two planned caesareans after that. The twins were a planned caesarean but baby A decided to break the water early at 3 weeks earlier than planned and so I gave birth still via caesarean but it was kind of a planned caesarean and kind of a not like when you were…

ANNIE LAIRD: Do you know who baby A was? Who was…

SUNNY GAULT: Oh yeah. Ainsley.

ANNIE LAIRD: Ainsley.

SUNNY GAULT: Ainsley is baby A.

ANNIE LAIRD: I see so you got to watch her.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: A rebel…

SUNNY GAULT: She starts stuff.

ANNIE LAIRD: She’s the trouble maker. Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: She does.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: She starts stuff when she’s supposed to

ANNIE LAIRD: See that starts already the personality you know.

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SUNNY GAULT: Okay so today we have a fun pregnancy headline for you guys. You may have seen this online. Olympian Alicia Montano crosses the finish line at 8 months pregnant. So she is a runner. She was actually at the US track and field championships this last week and fans were screaming not because you know she had this fantastic time per say but because she was 8 months pregnant and I have the photo here.

ANNIE LAIRD: Did she win?

SUNNY GAULT: It’s absolutely real. No in fact she came in dead last…

ANNIE LAIRD: Oh.

SUNNY GAULT: But that’s not the point.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Right the point is that she’s freaking 8 months pregnant…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: And running and…

ANNIE LAIRD: How’s she not peeing herself. That’s what I want to know.

SUNNY GAULT: We actually don’t know.

ANNIE LAIRD: Oh.

SUNNY GAULT: You know I can’t see anything running down her legs but…

ANNIE LAIRD: That’s not sports ladies and gentlemen.

SUNNY GAULT: So in anyways she did get the go ahead from her doctor. Everything was fine. Actually she’s seeing a midwife and doctor. Got both of their clearing before entering the race and the baby was more than fine but you don’t typically see this and Annie…

ANNIE LAIRD: No.

SUNNY GAULT: I know that you were a runner are a runner is it past tense?

ANNIE LAIRD: Oh yeah I don’t run anymore. I would like to eventually get back into it but you know they don’t make jogging triple strollers so yeah I haven’t done it for a while but that’s what stopped me through my pregnancy number 1 and 2. My first two children I ran until oh like the end of my second trimester but that’s really what it was it was just a loss of bladder control and you know just you know it just it was a lot of weight on my bladder. You know and then with my first pregnancy especially it was a point where I would stop every five minutes to use the bathroom.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: I guess if she’s doing a 200 yard dash then you know…

SUNNY GAULT: Right.

ANNIE LAIRD: Then that’s not so much an issue. So…

SUNNY GAULT: And actually it doesn’t say what and I don’t know much about this runner in general. It doesn’t say what she was running but that she was competing.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah I can’t imagine doing something. I mean at that kind of a level. She’s an Olympic runner?

SUNNY GAULT: She’s an Olympic…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah she’s Olympian…

ANNIE LAIRD: Wow.

SUNNY GAULT: So…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Wow.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: In my past life I did distance running as well…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And we conceived our first…

SUNNY GAULT: On the track?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: No. Distance I could never be a sprinter.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Like oh my goodness I don’t have any but we conceived her the weekend after my husband and I completed our first half marathon.

ANNIE LAIRD: Oh good for you guys.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And yeah so like okay well let’s just do that and we’ll going to try for a baby and got pregnant right away.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: But I was so tired that first trimester that…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: There was no movement whatsoever and then like the second trimester maybe I could have picked it up but I had some bad sciatic nerve pain.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And so it’s a past life but I would again yeah like to pick it up again at some point but…

SUNNY GAULT: See that’s a really good point is that not only that she run this race but you have to train so think about how much running she’s doing.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

SUNNY GAULT: I mean that’s pretty amazing that her body allowed her to do… I mean good for her.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: Well a lot of care practitioners they say if you as long as it’s not you know…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Skydiving.

ANNIE LAIRD: You know…

SUNNY GAULT: Right.

ANNIE LAIRD: Downhill skiing you know things that would possibly cause an impact with a fall…

SUNNY GAULT: Right.

ANNIE LAIRD: As long as you’re doing an intense exercise before you get pregnant…

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: Continuing it but just listening to your body. So…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Don’t pick up marathon running when you’re…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: You know 6 months pregnant and you haven’t done it before.

ANNIE LAIRD: Exactly. Yeah. Well with running like you said usually the challenge in the first trimester is the nauseous slash…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Fatigue.

ANNIE LAIRD: Tired, Fatigue and then second trimester is good but then you start to get to the point where the belly is so big that yeah it’s just whether it’s sciatic pain or bladder control those are the main issues.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Or laboured breathing.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Oh yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And you know your lungs are smashed…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And you train to…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Exercise.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah I should say that on Preggie Pals did an episode page on this. It’s a while back but it was about running during pregnancies. If you guys have any other questions about that, check out that episode.

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STEPHANIE GLOVER: So we’re mixing it up today on Preggie Pals inspired by Mary Kylie’s online article fast and funny 10 pregnancy FAQs that will make you laugh. We’re checking paleness the door and then…

ANNIE LAIRD: Check in [inaudible] was always checked at the door when I’m on yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Getting down of the nitty gritty about pregnancy and child birth. So we’re speaking candidly here about 10 FAQs that we’re found in her article. The FAQ #1 is that the baby kicking or just gas?

ANNIE LAIRD: That’s something I actually ask my care practitioner but maybe I’m just more out there you know just like you know because they ask you like you know…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Are you having movement…

ANNIE LAIRD: Exactly. Well because the baby they call it quickening when mom can recognize that that’s the baby actually kicking usually it’s like 16 weeks.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: And so that’s like the earlier side . . .

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Important . . .

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah. So that’s like an important milestone that an all care practitioner both midwives and obstetricians are looking for but it’s really kind of hard to tell I mean Stephanie could you tell with your pregnancies?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: You know I didn’t feel Gretchen until I already knew…

ANNIE LAIRD: Gretchen is your first born right?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Gretchen is my first born.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And I was 21 weeks.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: I think.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: So I already had the anatomy scan and knew it was a girl and then I felt her kick I think later that week.

ANNIE LAIRD: Right.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And with Lydia I think I was expecting a lot sooner so like I’m a seasoned mom so I’m totally going to know…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: When I going to you know feel her kick and I think I was about 18 weeks. How about you?

ANNIE LAIRD: You know with my first born I distinctly remember I was sitting at a really boring I was getting my grad degree at that time and I was sitting at a really boring class after lunch and that was really the first time that my mind was wandering and I just eaten something and that’s when I distinctly I knew that it was the baby kicking.

So before then I guess I probably just was too busy. What freaked me out with this though with my third baby because I figured oh you know I’m going to I’m going to know you know well ahead of time and I haven’t got any ultrasounds with my third baby at all so every time I go in for a midwife appointment they would you know feel you know listen to the heartbeat and so I knew that there was a baby in there and the heartbeat was good…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right.

ANNIE LAIRD: But I’m like this is crazy. This is my 3rd pregnancy like I did my 3rd baby I should be feeling this now 16 weeks, 17 weeks, 18 weeks, 19, 20 weeks nothing and what it ended up be I didn’t end up feeling her kick until like 24, 25 weeks something like that.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Because of the placenta placement?

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah. The placenta I had anterior placenta so that’s basically that’s when the placenta is on the front wall of the uterus and was acting like a pillow just like blocking every moment but yeah it freaked me out something good you know.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Well it’s so strange because so when you go in to say like that you get that 12 week ultrasound, the baby is karate chopping and you just can’t feel them.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And that’s just a strange…

ANNIE LAIRD: Or just a little.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And you’re so active and you can’t feel them there. So it’s sort of a rite of passage once I think it becomes real…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: When you can actually feel them moving around…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And you know it’s a little person. So FAQ #2 from the article, what on earth is going on with my boobs?

ANNIE LAIRD: Okay I didn’t ask that to my care practitioner, no.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And I guess there could be several things going on with your boobs, they could be huge, they could be tender, they could be leaking, they could you know so…

ANNIE LAIRD: I never had leaking but I heard that that does happen like…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: Women will like have colostrum like so basically your first milk for the baby starts leaking out so...

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah I didn’t have that either but I had…

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Really close friends who did wear those you know breast pads in their bras during pregnancy.

ANNIE LAIRD: That is bummer.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Really.

ANNIE LAIRD: Oh that sucks wow.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Did you have…

ANNIE LAIRD: Any breast changes?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah it was like the first sign of my pregnancy even before I took the pregnancy test you know it just I woke up one morning and just very, very sensitive, very tender. Yeah I mean that was pregnancy there of course is the postpartum which if you’re breastfeeding or even if you’re not breastfeeding I guess but your just dealing with some engorgement when the milk comes in.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Definitely.

ANNIE LAIRD: I was not expecting to go from the wide range of cup sizes. I mean that was nuts. You know I totally wasn’t expecting that but throughout my college years I was probably an A cup when I got pregnant though it swells to kind of a B and I’m like oh this is awesome. Like you know I suppose a woman with a larger chest that you know had you know back pain issues or issues with that wouldn’t be so exciting as I was about it. You know then I had the baby and yeah I swelled to like a D at least. You know of course things like calm down and everything was my milk supply regulated but yeah just going through that range I think it’s something that nobody talks to you about. You don’t expect that to happen.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: No. I in fact, yeah that was one of my first signs of pregnancy as well is that I had sensitivity and they seemed a little larger. And, with my first pregnancy I think, because I’m normally about a D, like a small D

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And, I couldn’t even find a bra size that was cup, you know like the right cup size for my, you know

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: My [inaudible] or whatever.

ANNIE LAIRD: Right

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And so I ended up, I think I went up three bra sizes in the first trimester and thought ‘Oh no’. What do they’re even going to look like by the time I deliver. Luckily it regulated out

ANNIE LAIRD: They’re going to be like size S bras

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Watermelons

ANNIE LAIRD: Like, do these exist, like you know, only in porn

STEPHANIE GLOVER: I think too, I mean granted they don’t show as quickly with your belly on your first pregnancy, but I really felt like my boobs are just taking over. So there can never have a belly there so big but they did kind of go down

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: FAQ #3: Will I poo when I push?

ANNIE LAIRD: I didn’t have a fear about this. I guess I figured, well you know whatever, it’s not a big deal

STEPHANIE GLOVER: It’s natural

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Chances are, you will

ANNIE LAIRD: No but as a doula, you know, I’ve run into some women who were like ‘oh I’m just really, I’m really afraid of it, you know and they don’t want to think about it. And they’re embarrassed that this could be a room full of people

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And as a doula how did you, how do you encourage them or talk them down from that fear?

ANNIE LAIRD: [laughing] You know, I guess I got to fill it out with really, is it just like they’re kind of a little bit embarrassed. Or it’s a gripping fear or a group anxiety. Most of the time it’s just a little bit of a fear or like ‘oh God that seems disgusting’. You know, most of the time that’s what I deal with. And so, what I try and tell them is what I tell my client is, you know this is something that you know if you want your baby to come out, everything else can get out of the way.

And so, some of the time, a lot of the time, when the first signs of labour is diarrhoea. And so, it’s your body’s way of just saying ‘you know what? I don’t need to be doing all these digesting right now. So, I’m going to clear out the whole digestive system and then we’re going to get rock and roll with some contractions’. That happens a lot

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah.

ANNIE LAIRD: And so, when women do push out a baby it’s really not that much. And the nurses they’re so used to dealing with that

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Very discrete

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Most of the time you don’t even know

ANNIE LAIRD: Exactly. They just wipe it over, really, really quick. It’s not a big deal. So, will you poop when you push? Yeah

SUNNY GAULT: If you’re doing it right

STEPHANIE GLOVER: If you’re doing it right

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: So, FAQ#4: What about that drink I had before I knew I was pregnant? I think we, so many of us have probably been there. I have babies that came nine months after the holiday season. They were work parties. That’s Christmas

SUNNY GAULT: That’s why you have a baby

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Exactly. Right? And so it’s always that fine line of ‘Oh gosh, did that Martini make a difference that I had at that work cocktail party?’

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah. Well you get scared too because you do hear about all of the, you know, we’ve done episodes on foetal development in the first trimester. And you’ve learned about your organs and everything form, your baby’s organs forming during that time and you’re like, ‘Oh my gosh that seems like such a crucial time’ and it is an important time. But honestly, am I bad that I don’t worry about, I just, I mean I’m done having babies now, but like, I just, I really didn’t worry about this and I like to socially drink.

So when I found out that I was pregnant, quit drinking obviously. But it just wasn’t, I was just like ‘okay, well, you know, just hope for the best’ I mean honestly a lot of times it was a night out they got me to the point that I was pregnant. So usually that was the catalyst. You know I’m just kind of like, like you know

ANNIE LAIRD: It’s a long introduction, it’s a good introduction to a lot of things as parenting that, you know what, you’re going to do the best that you can

SUNNY GAULT: Yes

ANNIE LAIRD: And you got to let go of the rest. Hello! Welcome ladies, welcome to parenting

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yes

SUNNY GAULT: Not control and control of anything

ANNIE LAIRD: Exactly. You know, so you just, you know, okay say you had a drink or two, or three or four, and now you’re pregnant. Well you know, just quit drinking and yeah, move on

STEPHANIE GLOVER: FAQ #5: Will I ever be the same down there again?

SUNNY GAULT: There are surgeries to correct it if you’re not

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Well I think it’s important to remember that we’re designed to birth. The babies that we grow

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: You probably will be, in my experience

SUNNY GAULT: And I think that’s it

STEPHANIE GLOVER: But it doesn’t mean that you know there might be some tears but the body’s I don’t know, in my opinion, designed for it, so

SUNNY GAULT: And they are battle wounds right? You know I mean it’s kind of like you know, I wear some of those with pride. I mean I am personally not the same down there, in a lot of different ways but I had some complications. So, does everybody, you know go through that? I don’t think so

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah, absolutely not. Yeah. I did do pelvic floor exercises and I mentioned this in our couple of episodes passed that you know there are pelvic floor physical therapists. So, if there are issues with incontinence, if there are issues with pain during sex, there are professionals out there to help you rehabilitate that function

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Right

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah and there’s whole departments now I mean depending on who your medical care provider is, and this is fairly new. Something I learned about a year or so ago, they now have special certification processes for that area of the body. So, someone can, not just, you know, a urologist or whatever looking at you but someone that’s specifically trained

ANNIE LAIRD: Like a gyno-urologist

SUNNY GAULT: A gyno, yeah that’s it, you’re a gynaecologist, that’s who I saw that’s for my first baby. I’m still seeking treatment like I had an appointment on Monday

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

SUNNY GAULT: You know, so but you know, that’s the important thing I think is that you know if something does happen or if you just don’t feel right, it’s okay to reach out like, I don’t think that a lot of women, you know, know that. And there are so many different things they can do now and they’ll be able to do in the future and so, if you don’t feel right, reach out because odds are whether its physical therapy or some sort of procedure you need to have. They can do a lot of cool stuff

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah, and it doesn’t have to just be this inevitable side effect that she’s just have to live with

SUNNY GAULT: Exactly

STEPHANIE GLOVER: We have options

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: When we come back, we’ll continue our candid chat about these tough to talk about FAQs regarding pregnancy. We’ll be right back.

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STEPHANIE GLOVER: Welcome back. Today we’re going through Mary Kylie’s article: Fast and Funny 10 Pregnancy FAQs That Will Make you Laugh, and opening up about our own experiences with these FAQs. So onto FAQ#6: that is ‘Is that a wee incontinence problem?’

ANNIE LAIRD: Well that’s kind of really ties into

SUNNY GAULT: It does

ANNIE LAIRD: What we’re talking about before the break so, yeah. I mean before the birth, just with running, it was an issue. So I stopped running. And then, yeah, after the birth, so, I had the worst postpartum nurse who is initially, I got somebody else. Thank God. But, I got up to use the bathroom and I had no bladder control. And it just, and the nurse yelled at me. I was like, you know

SUNNY GAULT: You know, mine wasn’t very understanding either, she was kind of like ‘Oh it’s just the epidural’. I’m like ‘what?’

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah, I just pushed out a ten pound baby here.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah

ANNIE LAIRD: I’m sorry that you have to clean up pee, you know, I didn’t do it on purpose, you know, I’m not to. I just don’t have control right now. So, you know in my case, they came back, just, you know, took a little bit. So, I know Sunny in your case it took longer

SUNNY GAULT: It did not. It never fully returned. But I had that same exact experience. And mine happened to be a result of having my urethra stretched. When I was pushing out the baby, they put a catheter, a foley catheter on you. And there’s a little inflated ball at the end of the catheter. And I actually started to push that out.

That is so rare I don’t want to scare anyone out there. It does happen. We did a whole episode about this. I don’t want to talk about it too much but feel free to search for it on our website. But I will say, you know it kind of goes with what we’re talking about before like incontinence is, and people will tell you that when you’re in the hospital. Like it is kind of one of the things that comes, they say with the territory. And it should, you know, kind of clear up on its own.

You know you can do Kegels, you can do some other stuff like that to help. But, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes there was a real mechanical issue. And again, you know there are procedures. I actually had two surgeries to help repair it and now, now that I’m not planning to have any more babies, they had me on some medication that’s breastfeeding friendly to help clear that.

But you know that whole got to go– got to go-got to go right now, like that commercial? Like, that’s me. And there’s a little tiny pill I take every morning, and it helps but it’s not perfect. But there’s again, there’s a lot of treatment, I have a kind of a road to go down. But the good news is there’s a lot of stuff available to women struggling with that.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And understanding that while you’re pregnant, and the postpartum implications and even during your hospital stay. After my C section, I had a catheter in as well until the next day. And I remember they said okay we’re going to take it out now. And I said, well I have the urge to pee. ‘Oh yeah, you should be fine’. And I wet myself. I mean and I remember calling, it was just this, a different feeling of being an adult and paging the nurse, being like ‘I need to be changed’

SUNNY GAULT: I know

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Because I had you know my abdominal muscles were so tender I couldn’t really sit up and do much for myself. And just sort of lying there and I wasn’t prepared for that. I hadn’t been prepared for a C section. I didn’t even know what a catheter did

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: You know so just, I’m kind of being aware of that going and knowing that it’s perfectly normal

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah. It is. And for like I said, for most women it’s going to clear right up. So, if it doesn’t and people tell you ‘Oh it’s just because you had a baby, it’s just because you had a baby’. It may not be. So if you’re have, I mean, I don’t want to give numbers, but if you’re you know, out from having your baby and you feel like it’s an issue, talk to somebody. Like you shouldn’t have to struggle with that

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Definitely. FAQ #7: Is it possible to avoid stretch marks?

SUNNY GAULT: We just did a whole episode on this

STEPHANIE GLOVER: We did

SUNNY GAULT: And the consensus was?

ANNIE LAIRD: Most women get them, yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Yeah

SUNNY GAULT: It was a, well most of it was hereditary, she said. So kind of depends on your blood. I hate it when there’s not really much you can do to change that.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: What was your guys experience with stretch marks?

ANNIE LAIRD: I had a few. But it was my pregnancy that I did gain more weight.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah

ANNIE LAIRD: So, but I didn’t get many. But again, I have my mother to thank for that

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah

ANNIE LAIRD: So again, because it’s hereditary some women get them on their breast, on their thigh, on their stomach, you know, everywhere. So, this, you know and they fade over time, you know, so

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: I didn’t really have many either. My mom didn’t when she was pregnant. I noticed a few actually after giving birth just on the underside. But they had, they already looked faded. I just didn’t ever really see them in pregnancy but very minimal.

SUNNY GAULT: I will say too, if you’ve had a C section, you, well okay, I guess I have to speak from my own perspective. I focus more on the C section scar than the stretch mark scars, so, I don’t know which is worst but, like again, if you, we’ve got different scars down there. Your eyes will go in different ways and I don’t even really worry about the little tiny stretch marks scars I can’t really see.

Actually, I have more I think on my breasts than I do. But it, that is even really faded so, you know. But I’m just kind of like, ‘okay so I’m not going to be a Victoria’s Secret supermodel’. Like I was going to be. . . , you know, and I’m not above having surgery. If I feel bad about this after I’m done, my boob, as far as I’m concerned, my boobs are for feeding my babies first and foremost. And once I’m done with that, if I’m not happy with the way they look, I would nip tuck whatever I have to get to feel good about myself. That it for me, that’s what it’s about. It’s about me feeling good so. So I finally need to get some lipo or [inaudible] whatever, you know, to feel good about it

STEPHANIE GLOVER: The good news is that, stretch marks, do fade

SUNNY GAULT: They do fade. Yes. Even immediately after giving birth, that’s what they said too.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: FAQ#8: What does labour really feel like?

ANNIE LAIRD: Oh Lord, you could have a whole episode on this one

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And it’s hard, I mean how, how to, in a first time mom would you try to explain it

SUNNY GAULT: It’s different though. It’s different for everybody. I remember at my baby shower, a cousin of mine said ‘you know, I didn’t even know I was in labour, and I pushed like twice and then the baby fell out

ANNIE LAIRD: Oh shut up

SUNNY GAULT: And then that’s what I said

ANNIE LAIRD: That was like

SUNNY GAULT: Are you kidding me? She’s like, I swear, I didn’t know what happened. And I’m just like, ‘I’m not going to be like that. No, I’m not going to be like that’ you know

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah, I mean if, for me it was all pretty remarkably kind of the same among my three babies. But can I say, you know with a degree of certainty that everyone’s going to be like me. Again, they would say with a degree of certainty that everyone is going to be different than me. For me it’s always my contractions started really far apart. I mean, it’s almost like, it kind of in the textbook, like you read about it.

My contractions start far apart and they’re very manageable. They progress so that they’re closer together. I can’t eventually talk through them. Then, to the point that I want to kill everyone in the room and then my water breaks, and then I feel you know, then I pushed out a baby

SUNNY GAULT: So, did you feel like a release like a physical like I know you probably felt the release of water that’s not what I’m talking about, but does it, if you’re not under pain medication and your water breaks and you said your water broke naturally or did they have to break it?

ANNIE LAIRD: No, they broke it. Sorry, they broke it for me one, for my first baby. And then it broke spontaneously for my second and my third baby. But it like right like in transition

SUNNY GAULT: Does that help at all with the pain or pressure once your water breaks?

ANNIE LAIRD: It made it worse

SUNNY GAULT: Oh really, because it’s, no because it’s your body’s cushion in labour

ANNIE LAIRD: It is, yeah you draw the cushion and it just, I don’t know what it was, it was like my body’s way of saying okay…

STEPHANIE GLOVER: It’s go time

ANNIE LAIRD: Beep, got real and all so, yeah. For me it felt like a menstrual cramp and I hear a lot of women say that it feels like menstrual cramps in as well

STEPHANIE GLOVER: FAQ#9: How soon after birth can I have sex?

ANNIE LAIRD: My care provider always said six weeks. So that’s you know, so the cervix completely closes again. And the uterus goes back down in involutes back down to that pear shaped size. So that’s what their concern about really, you know

STEPHANIE GLOVER: I have this funny story, there was a male in the practice, I was receiving my second child’s [inaudible] under, and he came in to check up on me in the hospital and said ‘Okay everything’s looking really great, your bleeding looks good’ You can go ahead if you’re up to it and go ahead and start having sex again at three weeks’. And I just remember like

ANNIE LAIRD: No, thank you

SUNNY GAULT: Did you tell your husband?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Well only to laugh and say that’s ridiculous

SUNNY GAULT: That’s not happening

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And then just, you know, shift changed, the next midwife comes in and she says ‘I don’t want you, you look great, bleeding’s good, I don’t want anything near that vagina until you’re at least six weeks. And I just remembered chuckling, and I was like ‘oh, he just doesn’t understand’. But yeah, and then it’s a matter of like that I think is a, it’s a guideline, but then there are other issues that may even keep you out of it longer

SUNNY GAULT: Of course, I mean even the fact of having a C section. Do you, you know and you may have to change this up pretty drastically. I mean, if you want someone on top of that scar, that’s when, I don’t know. I didn’t want anyone really close to me for much longer. I was on like pain meds if you have a C section

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And if you’re breastfeeding

SUNNY GAULT: You’re breastfeeding, and you’re leaking everywhere

STEPHANIE GLOVER: You’re leaking, they’re sort of, they’re there for other purposes. They’re either sensitive

ANNIE LAIRD: Well with breastfeeding that does sometimes just the hormones going on, oxytocin causes vaginal dryness. So, if you’re going to have sex, it’s a really good idea to find a good lubricant. And go slow. So and you know if there’s vaginal tearing, that brings a whole another, you know, element in there. Are the stitches going to come apart? Well, you know I don’t know, I mean, do you want a penis in there, a week after postpartum? Probably not

SUNNY GAULT: You know, we’ve done some episodes about sex after baby, and I think the key take away from this is that it’s all about communication with you and your partner. And there are other ways to be intimate without having intercourse. And I think the more we talk about it. Anyway, I think they have to understand a little bit more when we explain

STEPHANIE GLOVER: I agree

SUNNY GAULT: It’s not just us saying, you know just retracting and saying you know, ‘I just don’t want you to touch my body’. I mean there’s real reasons behind it right?

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Okay. And FAQ# 10: Will I fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes?

ANNIE LAIRD: I’m still battling the bulge; I got a battle the bulge going on, you know.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: It just depends on the

ANNIE LAIRD: It depends on the pregnancy too. With my two older children, it wasn’t until I stopped breastfeeding that I lost a lash like 10 pounds, I guess it was. With my second, I like, just like that week gotten back into a pair of size sixes and then I got pregnant. And I’m still now. While after my third baby, I’m still not there. But, I know, you know, I’m less freaked out now with my third baby than I was with my first. But you know it’s not for everything

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah. I think that’s how you had to look at it because it’s just a finite period of time and what is more important to you than getting into your skinny jeans or your children eating? Look at it like that. But I had those moments too you know, I’m not, you know, what am I now? 8 months postpartum with the twins. Actually today I made my, I mastered up my confidence and I put on my bigger pair of jeans. But these are not maternity jeans and I’m not really comfortable with that. I’m sure I have a lot of marks on my body right now. I’m not normal now and that’s okay. That’s why.

STEPHANIE GLOVER: And just forgiving your body because it took nine, ten months to get to that bigger, you know, bigger size for growing a human

ANNIE LAIRD: Yeah. And that’s a pretty amazing thing to grow and birth and feed a baby. Your body is amazing. And it’s just going to take some time. Yeah

STEPHANIE GLOVER: Well thank you to our panellists for joining today. For more information about our panellist visit the episode page on our website. This conversation continues for members of the Preggie Pals club. After the show, we’re going to be discussing funny pregnancy moments and how to recover from them. To join our club, visit our website, www.newmommymedia.com

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ANNIE LAIRD: Hi preggie pals we have a question for one of our experts. Tiffany in Colorado Springs writes: I’m pregnant with my first baby and I’m really afraid of tearing when I give birth. Will an episiotomy be better than tearing?

REK OMALI: Hi Tiffany, my name is Rek Omali and I’m an OBGYN practicing in San Diego. Thanks for this interesting question. Not all deliveries cause vaginal lacerations. In fact, majority of vaginal deliveries cause small tears or no tears or lacerations at all. Clinically we know this that tears, if any, are less traumatic than episiotomies. So we do not routinely cut up episiotomies. Of course, there are exceptions.

For instance, if the baby’s heart rate decreases or if there are other emergencies where an episiotomy is made or cut to facilitate and expedite the delivery. Otherwise we allow the head to stretch the perineum and vagina and try to deliver without any cuts or tears. Cutting episiotomy is causes more blood loss and at time the cut can extend down towards the rectum or other parts of the perineum. For this reason, recommendations are to allow for natural delivery without episiotomy.

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STEPHANIE GLOVER: That wraps up our show for today. We appreciate you listening to Preggie Pals.
Don’t forget to check out our sister shows
• Parent Savers for parents with new born, infants and toddlers
• Twin Talks for parents of multiples
• Our show The Boob Group for moms who breastfeed their babies

This Preggie Pals; “Your Pregnancy Your Way”

[Disclaimer]
This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though information in which areas are related to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.

SUNNY GAULT: New Mommy Media is expanding our line up of shows for new and expecting parents. If you have an idea for a new series or if you’re a business or organization interested in joining our network of shows through a co-branded podcast, visit www.NewMommyMedia.com .

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